...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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