I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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