sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
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