Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
