Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
