Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
