I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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