I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
