no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
