She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You are the jesus of drinking
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
