thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
