Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
