I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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