I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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