they need to just BURY HIM!
My pussy is not your playground.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
