i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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