therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
