They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
