last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
