she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize