She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
