There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
