she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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