Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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