theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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