i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
