So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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