I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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