With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
