oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize