Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
