No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
