We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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