Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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