I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
