I cockslap morals
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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