he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
