after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
