I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
