Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
