I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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