I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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