I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
