too bad you live with your parents still
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This is my gift to your gina
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
