i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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