He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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