Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
