He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize