Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
