is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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