god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
