I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
