That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
