Well apparently he's into motor boating.
...so i touched it.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize