i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize