I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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