we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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