Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
