i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
