Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you never un-have a 4some
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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