Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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