morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
