we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The Olympian is in my bed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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