I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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