well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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