Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
