My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
