She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
