you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
