Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
