Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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